Hello Europe! Cheeseville calling!

I stayed up far too late last night watching the Eurovision song contest final. It is amazing that the same noble impulse that led to the European Union and decades of peace and prosperity also inspired this pan-continent cheesefest. It is very compelling viewing, sort of a cross between a shameless American Idol contest and international football tournaments, and raises many compelling questions about Europe today. Like, how come all the states of the former Yugoslavia voted for one another? Is this the unifying power of pop culture spreading peace and reconciliation over a troubled land, or is it because the whole thing is massively rigged? And like the clumsy bully that no one on the playground is scared of anymore, Russia could not play with the other kids without getting its feelings hurt. Traditionally, this involves conspiracy theories about how Russia is being shafted. And considering how majestically, awesomely, awful Russian pop music is, they may have a point. This year the big insult came from the Ukraine's representative, a transvestite with an entourage of tin-foil wearing dancers. I was rooting for them because they seemed to have the right spirit for something like this, unlike the over earnest entries from places like Armenia and Bulgaria. Last week, it actually made the news here that some folks thought they heard her sing the line "Russia, goodbye," which is a bit of an insult to Russia's perennially wounded pride. The singer claims it was a random Mongolian phrase. Either way... Did I mention it issued from a bunch of adults capering about in tin-foil? And since Estonia gave most of its votes to the rubbishy Russian entry -- a handful of oligarch mistresses that sang about being prostitutes, I think -- maybe we can finally get past the Bronze Soldier nonsense.