But plague... what about plague?

I admit that I waited too long to go get tested. I mean, I didn’t think there were any problems, but people kept telling me I had to go. I had all the usual excuses: the clinic was on the other side of town, I felt fine, and these tests are stupid anyway. But I finally just couldn’t put it off any longer. You choose to live your life a certain way, and you try not to think about the consequences. But you can’t outrun them forever. Last week I went to the clinic, and on Friday I picked up the results. I don’t have leprosy. Nor do I have syphilis, chlamydia, TB, HIV, high blood pressure, or a narcological dependency. I have an official certificate stamped and notarize in accordance with the most recent round of laws and decrees covering foreigners here. The $60 raft of tests were for work, and I put it off longer than I should have. I admit I’m not at my best around health care professionals to begin with, but the idea of going to a Russian clinic terrified me. My daughter has a giant welt on her arm from an improperly administered TB shot as a testament to the overall competence of Russian medicine. I learned from my co-workers where to find the cleanest and most relatively efficient authorized clinic. It is near Semyenovksy Metro station, and incidentally at the heart of the shoe shopping district, with the “Paris Commune” shoe factory nearby. Anyway… to my very real surprise looking back, I can’t complain too much about the clinic or the process. You get a little sheet, and then you go on a scavenger hunt. One stop they take your blood, another they inspect you for lesions, then you go out to a little shed in the yard for a chest x-ray, and someone else takes your blood pressure. Most interesting was the visit to the narcologist, a very friendly and chatty fellow who makes you roll up your sleeves and checks that your eyes aren’t too glassy while asking about your drinking habits. Like so many things here, the experience was at the same time fascinating, frightening, annoying, and absurd. Most of the conditions they checked for are much more likely to be picked up here rather than brought here.