The first days in our new apartment, in haiku

The men from Fogaz
took away the bad meter.
It wasn't just me! (1)

Homeless mattress: you
don't fit under the big bed.
But someone loves you. (2)

Trianon undone,
Hungary whole, all before
the hot water comes. (3)

A shower, puddles.
No one has ever lived here,
I have concluded. (4)

Wet towel flaps and
wonders in what missing space
it may find a home. (5)

Now the t.v. works --
Transylvanian folk songs.
And now it is off. (6)

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(1) When I first moved in, something smelled a little funny. I narrowed it down to a definite gas smell coming from the direction of our gas meter, in a little closet by the front door. The odor was there, but not, like, don't light a match or anything bad. Was it within the bounds of safety? was I in mortal danger of losing IQ points each hour I stayed there? So many questions as I threw open all the windows and pondered whether to argue with the utility company. Finally, I took the initiative and called the landlord. Fogaz arrived, and determined that yes, the meter was leaking. We have a new one, and I was right!

(2) The place came with a large, newish mattress that had no bed. Landlord was curiously insistent that it would have to stay in the place, and suggested we try to squeeze it underneath the big bed in the master bedroom. Since the precious object doesn't fit anywhere else, it is doomed to become my daughter's trampoline.

(3) You have to run the taps for what seems a long time before the water gets warm.

(4) After looking at a dozen or so apartments before moving into this one, we realized that Hungarians don't seem to think shower curtains are the bathroom necessity that we in the West do. We convinced landlord to install one before we moved in, but still, the way the tub is arranged it is nearly impossible not to create puddles on the floor. How did previous tenants work around this? ...

(5) ... also, where did they hang their towels? there are no racks.

(6) On Tuesday, UPC arrived and installed our Internet. Of course, the mysterious algebra they use to determine rates meant it was far cheaper to get a package of web, cable t.v., and telephone (although, we do not own a telephone) than just web alone. And since there is a t.v. in the place (which landlord also insisted could not be moved) we now have television. The first time I turned it on, there was some kind of Transylvanian Idol on. Nevermind.