Go north, young Ivan.

Maritime adventure is the order of the week in the Russian media, as the “Akademik Fedorov” and nuclear icebreaker “Rossiya” – “our ships” as the state-run television channels call them – make their way across the forbidding Arctic Ocean to the North Pole. The expedition left Murmansk on Tuesday, led by ‘famous Arctic explorer’ Artur Chilingarov, and has so far survived both some perilous engine trouble on Thursday and some lurking American spy planes on Friday.

In true Victorian fashion, this is not about science, it is about glory, and lots of natural wealth waiting to be exploited. The pole is likely to hold considerable oil and gas reserves (not to mention valuable minerals), and it is in international waters according to a UN agreement. But Russia insists it is part of a distinct geographic feature that originates in mainland Russia, which according to convention makes it Russian territory.

The highlight is going to be a dive by a special mini-submarine, which will potter about on the sea floor, drop a titanium time capsule, and plant a Russian flag there. This will be broadcast live on television. “We want to prove that Russia is a great polar power,” Chilingarov told RIA-Novosti this week.

A part of me just wishes this country would grow up already. But another part of me says… screw you, you can have your acres of barren nothing under a few miles of ice water, we’ve got the moon, bitches! And we do whatever we want, to whomever we want, at all times. The Moon Rulez, #1!